A Balance...

I'm always trying to find a balance... at home and at work.. and now with this blog.

I'm not sure how much blogging will fit into my life and I'm not sure how well known this blog will become, but I think it will be a place that I will be able to look back on and reflect and hopefully see growth as I go.

I hope that I'll be able to make this a little bit "fancier", but for right now...this is what I have.

I'm leaving for vacation today. Driving to Myrtle Beach. Hopefully I can document my trip and have it become part of this. But at the same time, I'm going to try to have a relaxing vacation....as much as I can relax.

See...I have what many would call OCD. I have never been diagnosed (only self-diagnosed). I have certain quirks and certain anxieties that occur through everyday. I feel like this road trip to going to push those anxieties. I like a schedule and a time and knowing when I'm going to arrive, when things will end and when they will start. With this road trip to Myrtle Beach, I don't know any of that. All I know is the time that we are going to leave around... I've had a few weeks to become ok with the unknown that comes with the road trip...I've instead placed that anxiety into packing and planning.

I've organized and packed my suitcase 3 times.

 I have made gift bags for everyone who is going (four of us total) 

and I've done everything one could possibly do to a car to make sure that it's ready to go. I've thought of everything that could happen and I've planned and prepared in case that does happen (see...it's a sickness!)

While I'm on vacation, I am going to try to go with the "just go with it" lifestyle...but I already get worried about making sure everyone is happy and making sure that everyone gets to do what they want to do. Don't even mention the eating and the diet plan I have going on. That is another stressful, anxiety filled problem that I have to deal with. 

I'll get through it, and I'll have a great vacation. I'm going to make a real effort to relax.

 Who knows.. maybe I'll even let the mess pile up all week... on second thought, I'll relax after I clean up the mess!

Diet Journey

On January 19, 2013 I decided that I need a change. An important change. I was not happy with my weight. I was not happy with how I looked. And I was not happy with how my clothes fit. It was having an impact on my life and my relationship with A. I didn't wan to admit it, but it was not good. My life was centered around not having confidence and not being happy with how I looked.

My aunt had mentioned to my mother a new diet program called Ideal Protein. It was a very strict diet that you had to follow exactly to plan or you wouldn't see the results. I had tried everything else and I figured what did I have to loose (besides lots of weight). 

I started on January 22 and I haven't looked back since. I have lost 34 pounds and about the same in inches. I have gone down 3 pant/dress sizes and 1 shirt size. More importantly, I feel amazing inside. I'm sleeping better, I have more energy, I haven't had any heartburn in months. My skin and hair has become so healthy. 

I can't say that it hasn't been hard, it's been brutal at times. But I've stuck with it and I've been able to loose more weight that I have with any other program combined.

I am not allowed to eat any foods with sugar, fat, and carbs. I can't have any dairy. I can't have any alcohol. I can't eat fruit because of the sugar. I only get 8 oz of protein a day. I eat way too many salads a week and double that in vegetables. I have two protein shakes and a protein bar/snack a day.

I have about 26 pounds to go until I reach my goal. This could be the easiest part of my journey or the hardest. Especially with my vacation right around the corner.

But I've made a decision. I'm not going to deprive myself during vacation. I'm going to enjoy myself..but just a little bit. I'm going to have in the back of my head the entire week that I need to stay mostly healthy, but I'm going to have some special treats.

I'll keep you posted on how my vacation week goes (if anyone is reading this blog by then)...and if no one reads it, then I'll have this blog to look back on a year from now when I'm at my goal and going on my next vacation...this time in a bikini...

Before: (tan dress) in Mexico August 2012

Midway Goal Point: (green jacket) at Awards Ceremony April 2013

I'm halfway to my goal and I can't wait to add that third picture right next to it and be pround of my progress and the results I've made. 

Stay tuned...

Welcome to my blog...I think

I decided that today I will start blogging. I've wanted to start blogging for a long time now, but always made one excuse or another to not blog. 

But that all changes today. (At least I hope so)

I don't know what direction this blog will take and I don't know what "theme" my blog will take, but I do know that it will be about me. About my life. And about all my quirks. 

For those of you who know me (if any of you are even reading this yet), you know that I have many quirks. Some of them even bother me! 

But I am me. I'm not anyone else but me. If you don't want to read then don't. I'm not here writing for you. I'm here writing for me. To document and keep record of everything that is important to me. And I'm ok with that being on a blog (I'm telling myself that now...I hope I don't panic and stop writing.)

I have many different expectations with this blog, but I'm not going to tell you any of them...at least not yet. I just have to be happy with me. 

Are you noticing a theme yet? ;)

I hope you stick around to see my journal... through blogging and life.

And I apologize for the 'basic' view of a blog.. I'm working on that too..

I'm one big work in progress.