A Balance...

I'm always trying to find a balance... at home and at work.. and now with this blog.

I'm not sure how much blogging will fit into my life and I'm not sure how well known this blog will become, but I think it will be a place that I will be able to look back on and reflect and hopefully see growth as I go.

I hope that I'll be able to make this a little bit "fancier", but for right now...this is what I have.

I'm leaving for vacation today. Driving to Myrtle Beach. Hopefully I can document my trip and have it become part of this. But at the same time, I'm going to try to have a relaxing vacation....as much as I can relax.

See...I have what many would call OCD. I have never been diagnosed (only self-diagnosed). I have certain quirks and certain anxieties that occur through everyday. I feel like this road trip to going to push those anxieties. I like a schedule and a time and knowing when I'm going to arrive, when things will end and when they will start. With this road trip to Myrtle Beach, I don't know any of that. All I know is the time that we are going to leave around... I've had a few weeks to become ok with the unknown that comes with the road trip...I've instead placed that anxiety into packing and planning.

I've organized and packed my suitcase 3 times.

 I have made gift bags for everyone who is going (four of us total) 

and I've done everything one could possibly do to a car to make sure that it's ready to go. I've thought of everything that could happen and I've planned and prepared in case that does happen (see...it's a sickness!)

While I'm on vacation, I am going to try to go with the "just go with it" lifestyle...but I already get worried about making sure everyone is happy and making sure that everyone gets to do what they want to do. Don't even mention the eating and the diet plan I have going on. That is another stressful, anxiety filled problem that I have to deal with. 

I'll get through it, and I'll have a great vacation. I'm going to make a real effort to relax.

 Who knows.. maybe I'll even let the mess pile up all week... on second thought, I'll relax after I clean up the mess!